Inter-racial marriage

December 6, 2018

Interracial marriage is a form of marriage outside a specific social group involving spouses who belong to different socially-defined races or racialized ethnicities.
Luis didn’t like the term at first because he thought it was so strong. But the reality is if we’re going to title it that could be one.
Describe Tiff – Tiffany is very beautiful. She has an amazing heart, she is loyal, smart, a love giver, passionate. She’s a cheerleader of life.
Describe Luis – he’s truly amazing. He is solid. Unwavering in his love. He’s a resilient man. An amazing father to Larry. He’s a fighter. He is extremely loyal and has the patience of a saint. We works unbelievably hard. He can solve any problem and he is literally the smartest man I’ve ever known.
Did you ever imagine marrying outside your race?
T: Society defines us by our appearances, our titles. God sees our hearts.
I went on my first mission trip when I was 24 to Honduras, a country in Central America. I had been on many cruises before outside the country but this was my first time immersing myself for a week into the culture. And I literally fell in love with the people and the culture. I was totally open to marrying a Spanish man but had never thought twice about it. When I met Luis I wasn’t like hm I could marry into an interracial marriage. I didn’t even think twice about it. Probably because I was so captivated. I did have this list. And I had done tons of reading, researching, praying, about how to find the right one. How to get marriage right. Now that I’m here I’m not sure one could ever prepare enough for it. I just wish the reality was more real of the challenges, differences and that more people wouldn’t give up on it. Easy to say less than two years in I guess. Now we did go to pre marriage counseling prior to getting engaged and she was very real with us about the additional challenges we would face because of having even more differences. I didn’t quite get it at the time, because I didn’t know. And some things we can only truly learn by experiencing them.
L: I did not have any problem marrying outside my race. I am in a country of difference race so I never thought about race being a limitation or obstacle. Totally the opposite I embrace them all as a multi cultured individual. When I come to this country is when I realized how people put titles and separate things in to blocks. It was very weird to me. We didn’t have that back home. We had indigenous, black, white, colors, European but we never put titles like that.
Food differences:
T: tons of food differences. Just typical dishes are very different. I’m a boiled peanut, homemade chicken and dumplings girl. My husband had never had neither when we met!! My family could hardly believe it.
Thanksgiving is very different. Well most American holidays are different. For me and my family Thanksgiving has always been a huge big ordeal. And for him, well, his country doesn’t have a Thanksgiving. So I come from this long background of one way and he’s coming from a long background of another. This was a much more simple example because seriously who doesn’t want to get together and eat lots of great food!
L: big time different. I thought that USA was all about just fast food. In the beginning I had a hard time finding anything traditional like what Tiff and I do at home.
Do you like being in an interracial marriage?
T: it’s not something I think about. But I love the man god has blessed me with. There are most likely challenges that I wouldn’t have not being in an interracial marriage. But then there would not be the happiness or the growth that I’ve experienced. So yes. I love it! I think any marriage is going to have its highest highs and it’s lowest lows. Whether interracial or not, honoring the vows and figuring it out without giving up. Love never fails.
L: I like to be married to Tiffany. It’s challenging but rewarding. We do feel cultural differences but we also feel love.

Whats it like being married to Tiffany?

Its a rollercoaster. It’s amazing exiting challenging. It’s new everyday.

Whats it like being married to Luis?

The best hardest thing ever. Men and women are different. But gods design for marriage has never been better. Having been in a variety of relationships I see a small glimpse of WHY God made one man and one woman to be life partners and practice the unconditional love he has for us. It’s the best gift ever.

Would it have been easier marrying inside your culture?

T: Probably. Well yes maybe. But I don’t let my mind go there. God brought me an amazing husband and whether it’s interracial or just simply man and woman there’s going to be differences. We can let those differences help us and better us or we can let those differences tear us down.

L: I don’t know. It could be because there’s a lot of similarities but that doesn’t guarantee there won’t be differences, just different differences. I was never limited to one cultural.

Whats the greatest challenge between an inner cultural marriage?

T: cultural differences, particularly related to family and upbringing.

L: cultural differences, it could be anything from how we say how we say bye we kiss we hug, men/women relationships, family concept – a huge one.

Whats the greatest benefit of being in an inter racial marriage?

T: My perspective has broaden and changed so unbelievably much. And for that I am so grateful. I have seen, heard, experienced things because of Luis that have literally changed who I am as a person today. And that’s a very good thing! When I met Luis I was very small minded. My mind was like a little box. And if anyone thought, spoke, believed differently than me, it was basic like take the highway! Well now I’ve been almost forced to open up, understand instead of judge, and it’s really the best thing that could have happened to me.

L: The stretching. The constant stretching emotional and mental level of having to think differently, see from a different perspective and actually understand it instead of judge it. It broadens knowledge it broadens the same thing at the emotional level. Eventually the kids will benefit a lot of that. Multi cultural family in a Globalized world.

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