Ready or not here it comes …..
The ONLY caption I could come up with, and while it seems really cute on Instagram, here’s the reality behind it.
To share? Or Not to share.
To post? Or Not to post.
To delete? Or Not to delete.
All the self doubting thoughts that plagued my mind as I began to post my first swimsuit photo of 2019.
Am I showing too much? Is this modest enough for the ones who like to judge? WHY was I so bloated? What happened to my fit tummy? I’m never eating avocado toast for breakfast again…. and DEF not before the beach!
“What’s going on babe? What are you feeling insecure about?” As I unknowingly asked my husband for the 10th time (literally), “Are you sure this looks ok to post?”
So, what are we getting at here. I’m a little insecure at times. I have times where I doubt myself. And then I shame myself about doubting myself because God has been SO good to me. I have my health. I have my freedom. I have a loving kind supportive hot husband.
Then on top of the doubt and shame, I worry about being hypocritical because there is NOTHING that turns me off or away from someone quicker than when you see them being insecure. I mean really. You know those DROP DEAD GORGEOUS girls saying things like “omg I look so ugly today” and they literally look like they walked off the Miss America Pageant or those super fit girls saying “ugh I look so fat” while their abs are bulging out so that we can compliment their already confident self.
And if you’re not overwhelmed yet.
On top of all that, I shame myself because skinny girls are “not supposed to think like this.”
Well who made up that rule?? Bc like white in the winter time, I am clearly breaking it.
“Oh nothing, I’ve been linking swimwear with swimsuit models all day on the blog, and it’s that time of the month. Thanks for letting me know. I’ve got it together now,” I said as I shyed away from his character defect recognition.
Why did I decide to post this?
I want you to know I too deal with insecurity. It doesn’t hide from anyone.
And to be real, it has been a real struggle of mine for years.
And guess what I have learned. It is OK. We all have our own issues we are dealing with and will continue to live with on this earth until we reach Home and are in perfection.
Sarah from Sassy Red Lipstick has been so inspirational for me, encouraging self love and acceptance. I love her post sharing all about that here:
She says, “at the end of the day, being healthy is very important, but loving your body is just as important. ”
She has been such an inspiration to me loving me and being confident in WHO and HOW I am.
BUT lets get down to it. What do we do about our issues?
Do we get angry? Do we act out in jealousy? Do we become passive aggressive? Do we put others down to build us up? Do we react instead of respond? Do we shy away and back down? Do we miss out on opportunity? Do we decide to stay stuck? Do we get paralyzed in the thought of what others will think about us?
Do we remind ourselves what God has told us about who we are?
Do we recognize it for what it is and bounce back?
Do we STOP the over thinking dead in its tracks?
Do we risk failing and criticism?
Do we decide to STEP OUT of the boat and be brave?
Do we RISE UP as a conqueror?
Whether its a simple instagram post, a super personal blog post, a new job, a new relationship, a move, a new opportunity, or something as real and impactful as doing the next right thing….
I want you to know I understand, I relate, and I too am pushing to new boundaries, overcoming fears, and conquering the self doubt one thought at a time.
With so much Love, confidence and security,
Tattoo this mantra on your heart:
“THERE IS NOTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN A WOMAN UNAPOLOGETICALLY HERSELF AND CONFIDENT IN HER WORTH.”